ACCIDENT

How did we spend a chunk of the beginning of our weekend?

Before you freak out let me fast forward to the part where everyone is okay. The mr. had not
even been on the road for 2 minutes before CRASH. Both cars were considered totaled. Not "how did
he survive?!" totaled. More like "insurance company is going to scrap that" totaled.

Pause. The Nissan is ours. That semi-circle being pointed out by the arrow? That is an imprint from the
front passenger tire of the other car. This is what happens if you T-bone someone.

Bye, Nissan. You will not be missed. That building being pointed out by the arrow? That is
the State Bar of Arizona, where the mr. works. I told you he was on the road less than 2 minutes.
ps. Man in the orange shirt is definitely not my mr.

Though the mr. caused the accident, luckily, he is not at fault. The other driver was making a left turn and blindly pulled out in front of him. She was given a few citations; he was not. His airbags exploded, giving the mr. a few burns on his wrists. Other than general soreness, he is okay. The car is "broken" and "in the trash" according to the boys. The car suffered a broken radiator, busted fender, cracked windshield, bent hood, and other various injuries. Not worth saving. So we are down to one car until we figure out our next move. The mr. has been bugging me about how much he misses his truck lately...

PATIENCE

Oh boy.
I have been trying to learn patience. Which sort of feels like a joke as I am the most impatient person I know. So impatient, I once cut my own hair because my neighbor/friend/"sister"/hairstylist would not do it on a Sunday and I just couldn't wait until Monday. Fail. Or take look at the spacing of my children: 12 months - 20 months - 12 months. Most people put an average of 2.5 years between children, but I couldn't wait that long (and honestly, 20 months felt like forever). Now that we feel done with adding to our family, I feel like I can focus a lot more energy into exercising patience. The one thing I remind myself daily is that my little ones have a completely different time table than I do. Tasks that I feel should take less than 60 seconds always seem to last at least 10 minutes. And I need to learn to be okay with that. By doing as I have asked, they are proving that they are listening and striving to do their best. Which is ultimately the most important thing. So I need to relax and stop rushing them constantly. And lets not even get started on patience in matters of money or physical fitness... I know patience is something that I will never master, but I do know that it something I can continuously improve upon.

HOSING AROUND

After-haircut party Saturday morning:

EARS PIERCED

When I was three months old, my parents took me to the mall and got my ears pierced. So I've had earrings my entire life. Never gave them a second thought. I knew if I had a daughter, I would do the same.
And then I had a daughter.
Piercing her ears never crossed my mind in the first few months. At 3 months, I dismissed the idea. It just wasn't time. But on Wednesday, at just a few days shy of 4 months old, it hit me. I felt it was finally right. So yesterday, without hesitation, I headed to Claire's. I picked out some CZ studs. Held her tightly on my lap. And watched as my little girl got her ears pierced. She hardly cried. I think she was more angry at me restricting her head than hurt from the sting of the pierce. When I arrived home, I bawled like a baby. Not because she had been in pain. But because I felt as if I had taken something away from her. Her beauty was completely uninterrupted. Flawless. Pure. And I changed that. It is ridiculous, I know. But I was so upset that I came close to taking the studs out and allowing the holes to close. Now that she has had them for a day, they are growing on me. I don't feel quite so bad. Definitely was not expecting to have such an emotional reaction.
I know not everyone agrees with piercing babies' ears. We are each entitled to our own opinions. If you are offended or upset, I ask that you please keep it to yourself. Negative comments are not nice.

IMAGINATION

So L runs up to me as I am heavily focused on my blog. "Mom. Mom. MOM. Moooooooom. MOMMY. Mom mom mom. MAMA!" What, child? Love his silliness.

ENDURANCE

Pushing harder and stronger for longer. Both in my running and in my life.
As I was running this morning, I thought a lot about endurance. I just started running a couple of weeks ago, but I decided today was the day I would run a full mile before stopping (and by stopping, I mean slowing to a walk). Something I have not done for about 8 years. The entire time, I told myself, "one step at a time - one foot in front of the other". I tried not to look at how far I had to go. Or to think about how bad my lungs and legs ached. Instead, I looked at the ground in front of me and thought about my running goals. 5k. 10k. Half marathon. Full marathon. No set date to accomplish all of these (but aiming for before my 30th birthday in just over 3 years). I know that I will be running in a 5k in January - the Color Run. And I am hoping that I will be strong enough for a 10k in February - Ethan's Run. So I used the thought of my goals to push through the discomfort so I could complete my first full mile. And I DID IT. Twice. Over two miles down with just a 10 yard speed walk in the middle. It didn't feel great. At least not physically. But mentally, I was on fire. And that's enough to keep me going harder, stronger, longer.

While I was running, I also thought about the endurance needed in every day life. Some days, we can run through life. Some days, we might need to walk a little (or a lot). And some days, we might stumble and fall. But if we know our goal and keeping going one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, we will make it. We may not see or understand the rewards immediately. But they will come. And we will be blessed for our efforts and our endurance.

SWIM

Every week since N was 6 weeks old, we have gone swimming on Saturdays. It's such a great way to escape the Arizona heat. J & L, who were like cats in water at the beginning of the summer, have transformed into little fish. D & N are happy as long as they are being held tight. I miss the days when I could swim to my heart's content, but I enjoy watching my little ones learn to love the water. The boys were being rather uncooperative for the camera, so just me and N

SICK

I had intended to get so many things done this week. Instead, my life consisted of this: Being sick puts a halt to your best laid plans. There is always next week, right? I may or may not have a serious addiction to Vicks VapoRub... that stuff is amazing.

PERSPECTIVE

Something I constantly try to think about.
Today is one of those days. If you are a parent, you know what I am talking about.

Whining/crying/screaming and the day has not even started. Fighting/hitting/throwing and breakfast only ended minutes ago. Wrestling/smothering/pushing and it is no where near nap time. One of those days where you are likely to lose it. One of those days you can't help but fall to pieces. One of those days that just feels like OH MY GOSH GET AWAY FROM THE BABY, NOW!

Yup. One of those days. But even though today is one of those days, I can have a positive perspective. I can have happiness. Today might be utterly horrible. My kids might be nothing short of miserable. And it is okay. I am okay. Because if I can just hang on long enough to survive today, I will have a new tomorrow. And today does not have to determine what tomorrow will be like. So here's to a better today and an even better tomorrow.

WARD FAMILY CAMPOUT

Oh boy. Where to begin? How about we start at the beginning.

Right after snapping the picture for my Friday Photo, we loaded up and headed out. The further we drove, the more excited I became. And then D started crying. Nay, screaming. The mr. and I figured it was the change in pressure, but did not know how to help him. We pulled to the side of the road near Mt. Ord. I grabbed his binkie and his sister's blanket (since we forgot his) to help soothe him. Nothing. He screamed as we drove. 3 miles out from Pine, he FINALLY fell asleep. We reached Camp LoMia and unpacked our things. After getting situated in our cabin, I noticed a handful of wasps hanging out on our porch (the mr. later informed me there were at least two visible nests in the eaves - lovely). I am terrified of wasps, so this is the point where I had a breakdown. Luckily, a neighbor/friend came over and cheered me up. Right as rain. The rest of the evening was spent eating yummy (very unhealthy) food, socializing with ward friends, and enjoying a fun program. D, who had screamed through the majority of the evening, was made happy when his shoes were removed. Instant transformation from tears to giggles. Bedtime was relatively good with the kids. J and L got right into bed without a problem (though they complained about the light until it was off). D hated the pack'n'play and refused to lie down. As a result, he fell asleep sitting up. Poor kid. N nursed a few extra times, but went into her pack'n'play with no fuss. All slept well. Except for me. I did not sleep. At all. But I was able to help J with his blanket in the middle of the night. And nurse N (who woke up laughing) in the early morning. In the morning, we ate a delicious breakfast of pancakes, eggs, hash browns, sausage, and fruit. Once plates were cleared, I took the two oldest on an adventure that consisted of tire swings, bridges, and a hike that nearly killed us. Well, J anyway (it's smart to remember your child has asthma before hiking a mile up a steep hill). When we returned to camp, the boys painted rocks while we did our part with clean-up. All in all, it was fun. Minus a few parts. Everyone survived. And we only had to stop once on the way home to re-buckle a naughty [almost] 3 year old.

PRESCHOOL

I cannot believe it. This kid is old enough to go to pre-school. While in my morning rush, I noticed a friend had taken the time to document her son's first day of pre-school. AND she had made a super cute gift for the teacher. My mad dash became even more hectic as I frantically threw together a gift, fed J his lunch, filled out our little chalkboard, snapped a couple of pictures, hustled the kids in the car, drove around the corner, and dropped J off for his first day. I think he is use to my near-psychotic speed and obsessive picture-taking habit. He was calm and relaxed. Walked right in and started talking to the other kids who were gathering. No hug. No tears. No problem. Good thing I am not the type to get overly emotional when it comes to this sort of thing or I may have been deeply hurt. Nope. I still had to come home, clean the toy room, fix lunch for the others, change diapers, feed the baby, and put everyone down for a nap. Now I am off to cook dinner, photograph food, and gather ideas for the blog. And to answer your question, NO. I never stop...

BALANCE

This one word sums up my life. My aspirations. My struggles. My accomplishments.
Since having had my fourth baby in less than the same number of years, I have been struggling to find a balance to my life. Adjusting to a newborn is not what was difficult for me. It was the fact that I had to continually adjust with her those first few months - so much so that things were never consistent. Now that baby girl is three months old and her demands are lessening, I have been able to get back into a rhythm that suits our family quite nicely. We have a daily routine that we follow loosely, which creates balance in our home. I am able to give a bit myself to each child while still reserving time for myself. And I am realizing that focusing on myself helps to strengthen that sense of balance as I am able to find my center. It has not been easy to find a routine that works so well. Not every day is free of stress or frustration. But as I assess the positives and negatives, each day brings me one step closer to finding that perfect balance.